Myths & Mischief

G’day, and welcome to Myths & Mischief, where we delve into history’s greatest secrets or legendary topics to entertain you, our lovely audience. This is Jeri, your friendly neighborhood swamp witch, with a history perfect for PRIDE month, celebrating our LGBTQIA+ guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Left: Portrait of The Rt. Hon. Lady Eleanor Butler and Miss Sarah Ponsonby ‘The Ladies of Llangollen’; Center: Carrie Chapman Catt and Mary Garrett Hay were photographed casting their first votes in November 1918; Right: Portrait of the Ladies of Llangollen, Sarah Ponsonby and Lady Eleanor Butler, 1819. Public Domain(left); Library of Congress (center); Public Domain (right)

For today’s history lesson, we are going to go through the annals of time to the 1800s to the 1900s, the 19th Century, a period known in the USA as the “Gilded Age” (remember, lovely students, our ages differed from the English because their ages went by the Kings and Queens of the time, but that’s another story entirely). For our trip in history, we are going to go to the home of my heart, New England. It was a world in which women had very few individual rights of their own, and their worth was tied to the men in their lives. Rude.

Now, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the Boston Marriage as a “long-term loving relationship between two women,” a term first coined in the late 19th century. In New England during this time, a Boston Marriage was further elaborated as a long-term, monogamous relationship between two women who were not in any heterosexual relationships (i.e., not engaged, promised to, or married) at the time of the relationship, as defined more succinctly by the Encyclopedia of Gender and Society. The term is thought to have originated from Henry James’s 1886 book, The Bostonians, which details a relationship between two women that could have been perceived as a marriage.

In a time when marriage to a man was more about survival, expectation, and tradition, Boston Marriages offered women an alternative: independence, companionship, and in many cases, private, quiet romances. These long-term partnerships often occurred between educated, financially self sufficient and deeply bonded women, allowing them to build lives together outside the strict confines of heteronormative conventions. Whether platonic or romantically queer (which many were), these relationships carved out a space where women could live by their terms with the ones they loved.

Today, domestic partnerships are increasingly accepted. Still, in earlier centuries, when women lacked rights of their own, these convenient situational relationships shaped their lives, providing them with what they might not have otherwise received.

So let’s raise our glasses to the many who came before and paved the way!

Happy Pride, and as always, thank you for visiting Myths & Mischief. Stay tuned for more adventures!